Recently the subject of guys and breakups came up and Sabrina and I went back and forth about what guys generally go through when they breakup.
It came down to be too much to put into the article I was writing, so we decided that I should throw it all into an installment of “Decoding Male Behavior.” To start, I wanted to write this article to dispel some of the misconceptions I’ve heard in regards to men and breakups.
To dispel the misconceptions, let’s take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface. Simple enough to say, but I know plenty of women will talk about how some guy came off like an insensitive jackass after the relationship fell apart because of his actions post-breakup.
The fact is: If a guy is profoundly obnoxious or terrible after a breakup, it is most often a testament to how rough the breakup was on him. MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Guys Jerry Seinfeld once said that breaking up a relationship needs to be like taking off a Band-aid – One motion: OFF!
We hear this not just from “nice guys” themselves, but also from other people who give us relationship advice.
If only you would just give that nice guy a chance, popular wisdom goes, he might surprise you.
Yet, the nice guys might be the better long-term partners, despite being overlooked again and again.
While some women may date men who are domineering because our culture prescribes that this is what they should want, “nice guys” often make this accusation against women who aren’t seeking out jerks.
I’ve heard things like “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her.
When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns,” or “He’s just hooking up with such-and-such to spite the ex-girlfriend,” or “Guys just don’t care” and other nonsense.
How can you work around the "nice guys finish last" problem?
A recent study by Spielmann and Mac Donald (2016) makes the case for niceness by first considering how women often find prospective partners today — by looking through, in sequence, a series of photos or profiles.