(CBS) Are you one of the millions of Americans who use online dating to look for love?A new scientific study of the popular practice shows when it comes to finding a soulmate, you might be better off searching elsewhere.There was nothing romantic or spontaneous about it, and it required a lot more time and energy than I expected.I recommend online dating for practice if you haven't dated in a while, but ultimately, I think the chances of meeting someone great are small and require a whole lot of effort.""I'm a Baby Boomer who never thought she’d be single at 60. I met one guy from California that I flew out to spend time with only to learn he was looking for a woman to support his lazy behind. Or they are sick and want a woman to be their nurse.It’s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals – so let’s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn’t work when it comes to online dating Dating has gone digital.Once considered a realm inhabited only by the socially awkward, online dating is now just another tool in the toolbox, no matter whether you’re looking for a hook-up or your soulmate.....The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.
Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.
"I was constantly overthinking what I had typed in my profile or what I was sending in a message to a guy. Over time, I began to feel like I was losing my true self in the quest to be the girl with the perfect profile, and I decided it wasn't worth the stress and sacrifice of losing and/or hiding who I am.""I was sick of constant disappointment or men that wanted to text forever. But that's the thing -- you can't really be yourself online." "Online dating gave me exactly what I wanted: practice going on dates with strangers and trusting my instincts about the men I met.
When I would see something in a guy's profile that he liked in a woman, I would think ‘Hey! What I did not like was that it felt extremely contrived, as if I was online shopping.
2 issue of Psychological Science in the Public Interest, researchers analyzed more than 400 studies to find out the real scoop on the billion dollar industry that promises love. All those sites that tout "scientific algorithms" that will help you find love aren't any more effective at predicting whether people are a match than the old fashioned way.
"To date, there is no compelling evidence that any online dating matching algorithm actually works,"Finkel said in the statement.